Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardBrooks
I have been struggling for a long time now with loneliness. I can't seem to find a way to connect with people. I reach out, but my calls go unanswered and unreturned. I feel like I have little if anything in common with most people I meet, and I don't know how to bridge the gap between casual acquaintance and friendship. All my interactions with people are business transactions. I have clients, coworkers, and other business contacts. I haven't been on a date in over 2 years, and can't remember the last time I spent any time out with friends. And this is not for a lack of trying... I invite people out, but no one accepts my invitations... I ask women out, but I get turned down (or stood up)... even family members suddenly find other things to do when I suggest spending time together.
To put this in perspective, I am somewhat socially awkward, but by no means antisocial. I have Asperger's, but I was not diagnosed until I was already in my 30's, and oddly enough I actually had quite a few friends and relationships prior to my diagnosis. Growing up with undiagnosed autism was difficult, and I did struggle socially, but I spent years overcoming this. I have done a lot of work to develop social charisma, and I know I have been somewhat successful, because I have built a successful business, do a lot of public speaking, and have run for state office. I am well recognized and well liked in my community.
But there is still this wall between me and other people. It's okay to buy my products and services, okay to vote for me, but not okay to hang out with me? I am a successful entrepreneur, highly intelligent, charismatic, and not bad looking, but I can't get a date? I feel like I am living 2 different lives: one the successful, happy, guy that everyone likes and who spends most of his time helping people; and the other that I go home to at night… the one who lives alone, eats alone, watches movies alone, who never gets a phone call or goes out with anyone, who has no family or friends or dating life.
It's a very lonely existence, and I don't know how much longer I can continue.
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Have you tried talking to a relationship or life coach? You have a business so you should be able to afford one. What do you personally feel is the issue in more personal interactions, do you have any idea or clue?
I understand well how you feel and because you are talented and hard-working, you deserve better. Because I can't see you in social interactions, I cannot give you advice because I can't see where you are going wrong. Try asking family members for honest opinions and open up a bit about your loneliness, they know you well so might be able to advise you.
Please keep us posted how it all goes, I hope you will make it because we all deserve fulfilling lives.