Dec,

You have been a member here before? A "returnee"? How come I didn't know that? I've been here myself a bit over three years. That's quite a long time! You know... that could be triggering in itself. Who were you before? (No need to answer. I'm not triggered.)

You've been reading about abuse on PC? So have all of us, I would think. After all, there's a whole forum dedicated to Abuse Survivors. Nothing new there. We all live with the scars and the issue of our abuse. I'm one of those people. I also live with the difficulties that the resulting depression and anxiety that came about because of the abuse I suffered.

I wasn't only homosexually and heterosexually raped, but I was made to believe that I was no good (verbal and emotional abuse.) Later on in life, I was made to believe that I was crazy, "schizo" I believe was the term. I was controlled to the nth degree. I read about it here on the forums from other people that have suffered the same injuries to their self.

One of my main triggers is when I hear that someone wants to be "put under glass and protected from anything that could touch them. The grandmother was always telling me that. She wanted to isolate me from the world. Can you imagine how long I would have lasted??? Not long!

One of my other main triggers is when someone tells me I don't know what I'm saying, that maybe I'm not thinking rationally. That happens quite a bit here on PC. Many of us, in an effort to support someone and give them a different perspective, get told that, or we read a post of one person telling an other that.

It took me 15 years of therapy to learn to cope with the abuse that was inflicted on me. One of the main things that I learned and a phrase that my T told me, although it hurt me deeply at the time, but I needed to hear it was Don't you think it's arrogant to think that everybody is looking at YOU, or everybody is talking about YOU, or that anything that is said or is done is always about YOU?" She gave me one of my greatest revelations, and now I can live my life mostly without triggers. She continued... Honey, people are too busy living their own lives and trying to solve their own problems to give you a second thought! Talk about a shocker! Did that bring me down a notch or two? You better believe it! I didn't want to ever be thought of arrogant, much less paranoid.

That little bit of wisdom made it easier for me to live without most of my triggers.

Something that I've learned while being a member here at PC is that Doc John, in his wisdom and his limits, can't and won't protect us from every little bit that could upset us or hurt us. It's impossible! We can't live our lives "under glass." There is isolation that is hurtful but mostly, there would be NO GROWTH in us. We have to learn to deal with the things each day brings us. We have to learn to take responsibility for what we do, what we see, what we read and what we hear. We also have the responsibility to take the best care we know how of OURSELVES and not expect everybody else to do it for us. They won't... pure and simple. They're too busy with their own lives.

Did you stop to think that maybe the poster that triggered you doesn't read what YOU post? How can this poster be held accountable for that? He/she can't! There's just too many posts and to many posters to know who reads what? Maybe the poster gets triggered by what you post so they stay away from your posting. Ever think of that?

We really do need to stop and do a reality check when something triggers us or is unpleasant for us to read and stop taking everything so personally!