starfish, it is hard to build a new life amidst so much pain. I've heard that it takes 2 years or so after the divorce to start feeling normal again.

Are you seeing a therapist? A therapist could help you rebuild. If you aren't seeing a therapist and need to choose one, you might look for one with an approach stemming from the human potential movement. Helping rebuild is one of the tasks they excel at.

Take care.