Thank you for your responses, Jennifer 67 and I Care dixit. Your responses are important to me. Well, I had believed I'd been stable at times. I've kept a mood chart since 2003, and a few before that. I looked at all of them this week. I have had occasionally had periods of 5-10 days without depression. I admit this is better than when I had no meds. When I had no meds, I'd have one or two days in a row without depression. I'd have at most, 13 days a month with no depression, never all in a row. But I still plan to go to my pdoc and get off all my meds. This time, it's been uncontrollable terrible rages, almost every day for 10 days, and frequently for over 6 months. I cannot continue to have these doctors experiment with me. As you know, they only know if the meds are "effective" is if they work. And they work differently for different people.

PS When I am off my meds, I hope I can keep my big blabby mouth shut aboaut it. Nobody is going to know about it except my doctor (of course), and my boyfriend. No my sister. And my best friend, who is also bipolar. She's been off meds for years. But her doc is putting her back on an antipressant now, though. But I a can just "hear" what others would say --- "Ohhh. Ohhhhh.... OHHHHHHHH..... Don't you think you should get back on your meds." I can just imagine what they will say. Dread! Horror! Shock! Disdain for my own fears and misery.

PPS I think I have an even better idea -- I will stay on Lamictal (my only med, now that the doc took me off Laxapro, and I flushed Depakote down the toilet yesterday). I'll stay on the Lamictal for a while and see if I get more stable. If I don't I will simply gradually cut back on it. I will cut into 1/8ths and gradually get off of it. That way, I don'it even need to see my pdoc again.