(((((PsychNitrous)))))

I believe that it's important to be able to express how you feel. It sounds like you are afraid of your anger. Do you ever punch pillows? Or journal out how angry someone or something makes you? Does that make you feel better? I wonder if it might. Or channeling your rage into sports or dance. I also think it's ok to say to someone, "you upset me." And express your anger in a civil way. There's no need to apologize for how you feel. Have you ever read anything on assertiveness? I have found the teachings of how to be assertive and express my anger (mainly, that it is OK to tell people what I need, and not feel bad about it) to be helpful. I do still struggle with this though, also. I also just want to say that in the past, I've struggled with this too. I used to hold all my anger in. Like for years. and then I got sick of it and was kind of *****y for a little while sometimes. I have found that meditation can help and the teachings of zen, because I do tend to be an irritable person, and don't want to harm people during times when I'm annoyed.