I wish my mother wanted to have me. I could never figure out how to be the child she wanted. She told me how to dress, how to behave, how to express myself but I always thought she just wanted me to be quiet and small and leave the family alone. So I roared at her and one day she looked right through me like I wasn't there. I am part of her so I don't wish her away, I wish she would have sent back some of the love I kept blasting her with. I write about her and call her a zombie Dracula hopped up on pills, I wish that if I behaved she would want me.