That's the problem. We are both in our middle thirties. Why not be direct in communication to work on the issues vice playing games with someone's mind, heart and emotions. Anytime she wanted me to come over she wanted me to bring wine. Then when I doncome over it's almost like I am stranger at first. I always asked how her day was and have a normal conversation but she always puts me off until she had a little alcohol and opens up a little more. Last night I came over and she stayed on her phone most of the night and didn't say much to me. It was around midnight and I asked if I could go lay down in the bed in which I did. An hour passed by and I thought she would have came in and she never did. She stayed on the phone on her couch. I fell asleep and I woke up to use the bathroom to see she never came in the room and was sleeping on the couch. It confused me cause the last week I was over there, we slept in the bed together and snuggled. It's confusing because I get a ton of mixed signals from her.

A part of me feels like she is cake eating. She is keeping me around as a safety net. I feel she wants to live a separate life but still be married for the benefits. I told her numerous times if she wasn't happy that we can go about our separate way and she can explore her happiness or whatever I didn't do. She brought up this guy numerous times even while being intimate. I don't know if she was doing it to mess with me or she actually thought I was him or was fantasizing about him. It was weird and disheartening.

The last time we did get sexual I made her orgasim like 3 times (Oral and fingers) but she still wouldn't let me insert inside of her or help me reach and orgasm. Then when I text her about any issues she says "That never happened" because she don't want me to have text proof. That doesn't sound like a woman who wants her marriage to work. She has me come over cause she knows I'm almost at my limit. I had a hard time maintaining a 180 because I like to communicate issues to seek a solution but I also read that sometimes you have to let them go to find happiness for yourself. One minute I think I'm making progress and the next she is talking about hanging out and going out with friends and giving me ultimatums if we are going to work things out. Never once has she asked how my day was, what we can do to make our marriage stronger.