and ya know.. im just mostly smoking weed

i went to rehab to detox from alcohol and i dont even want to drink anymore...
i dont have a taste for alcohol right now, dont have an urge.. i just dont want it

i dont know why, and i dont really care

i do want to get high though, because when im high i feel normal...
i feel like im in my world, im out of this crappy world where my entire body hurts and i feel all kinds of pain that shouldnt be there... emotional pains
but you have to remember that i have been using substances since i was 12 years old...

i feel all kinds of stupid feelings that shouldnt be there, at the wrong times

so im mostly just smoking weed, and that is even very seldom because of my money problems so its not like im constantly getting high and drinking

i know i come off like that and i may be a drug addict but im not abusing them frequently right now even though i wish dearly that i was