IF she grew up in a family that never openly & honestly communicated & if she REALLY didn't communicate in your marriage because of your anger & jealousy....it wouldn't surprise me that she is still communicating in the way she has always been used to communicating.

It's difficult to know where she is at right now. But looking back at what really started it....I'm sure her first observations are ALL ABOUT WHAT HAS CHANGED???? It's not an easy place to be in not knowing....but then she really doesn't know if you are willing to make the changes she needs either.....that can only be accomplished through ACTIONS, not flowers or cards or just reassuring words that you will change. Those kind of changes take a long time to realize they are real. Is there something that happened that showed her your "same old self" before she backed off again. Have you thought of asking her if you did something to push her away again?