60 days sober and have been around a lot of family...get sucked into their perfect lives and feel worthless. Jealous that they can drink and still be successful whereas I can't touch it or all goes to hell.

Got down on my knees and prayed to whatever God is keeping me sober bc I feel like going downtown main street and hitting a bar. Yesterday I was craving oxys but I threw away the dealers number but started hunting for it.

I ate and felt better. I prayed. I just have to make it through today without a drink. I'm stopping future tripping. I'm going to take a shower. That's all I know to do.