Hi. Feel free to post as much as you wish. No need to apologize. I totally understand where you're coming from and can definitely relate to what you're saying. I'm sorry you're struggling with these issues. However, you never know what the future may hold. You may find yourself in a group of people who share your interests and are accepting of you without even seeking to do so. It's a big world and there's room for everyone. There are people like you out there and I think it's only a matter of time before you find a place where you feel comfortable and embraced. You deserve to find that place. Just keep exploring your interests and believing in your dreams. I'd like to wish you the best in your academic pursuits. Whatever you set your mind to, it can be done.