Yea so we're bipolar. We get tantrums, crying spells, straight up stuck to your bed. Well I had the lovely pleasure of driving my dad around and my MI came up. What he had to say broke my heart. He said "the things you say and text when you get mad are so horrible I cry at night. I hate opening my phone and seeing what you've said the night before because you were pissed." That friggin hurt to hear. Omg. My dad and I aren't even that close since I can't work and he sees me as a... well in his words... "a loser". So yea I get pissed. And most of the time I'm drunk from self medicating when I go off on a rampage. But don't get me wrong, as mean as it may sound, it's actually how I feel. I just have a ****** way of getting my point across. I read my own texts too. I'm evil. I say things that will make you want to hop off a cliff. I'm sick. My anger is out of control. But my dad was sitting a foot away from me and telling me how much my words and actions hurt my family. He wasn't mean at all about it. Pretty concerned actually. But to hear it killed me. I'm a monster. Yea my dad and I aren't the closest but he raised me and made a good home for us kids and I'm being nothing but nasty because of my temper when I'm mixed or manic. I'm not a "fun" manic. I'm the type of manic that will speak words that will make you want to dig your own grave and hop in.

This is my vent. I'm an a$$h0le