I'm half agree and half disagree. I'm agree about lack of empathy towards the son. It's his fault, he made it himself. But disagree with mother part. I don't see it's her fault. Parents should watch over their children, but it does not mean that they always responsible with their children actions.

I don't see you're mean. Your reason still acceptable. I would still donate through, not because for the son, but for the mom. And only if the son learn his lessons.