It appears to me that people who have not had problems with dissociated states, and the ways those states deal with intolerable feelings, etc., can not easily understand the rage and anger that those states can experience.

For me, I could cut them off or freeze and go into a hyper-rational state, but no rationalization or anybody else's rationalization helped with those feelings at all. They were, and to some extent still are, very primitive. What I have found that helped is keeping on trying to accept them AS THEY ARE. Over time, they seem to be calming down some, integrating into, and trusting somewhat, the rest of me. Only then, I think, does what my rational mind has to say and observe about things have any effect on them. Eventually it may be possible to talk about what a unified me feels and does, but not by my rational mind -- or anybody else's -- taking over.

It also seems to me that the therapist described here does not have a good understanding of this kind of situation. My last therapist, who certainly had her problems, was very conscientious about vacations and out of the office days. She had a chalkboard listing them and discussed weeks in advance make-up appointments if she was going to be gone less than a week.