I don't know what is going on with my transference. It seems to be in a lull or something since being hurt and confused by the interactions around T's vacation. I still love her. I still have a part of me that sees her and wants her to be mommy. I have had less anguish or desire to email T. However, that is changing a bit as I moving past being hurt and angry with her.

My focus has been less on her, me, and this journey. I also don't seem to be missing or wishing it was back at such a deep level.

So I guess I'll have to see if how this plays out.