Chocolatelover, Nowheretorun, Darkeyes, Sky,

I didn't realize I had been away from PC for this long....just saw & read this post today .

Thankyou so much for the prayers & peaceful comfort they bring. Chocolatelover, your strong relationship with God is truely inspiring. I know that God always answers prayers. He answers them in his own way in his own time with what is best for us. This I believe very strongly. I want you to know how much I am blessed by your strength in prayer that you are praying on my behalf. I know that God listens to all prayers & the more prayers, the more he is answering.

It came to the point where I have done everything possible with the information I was provided & passed on everything that was beyond what I could do anything with. I can only sit back & know that whatever happens now is God's will.

I am working on doing the same thing with my marriage. It's a bit hard to think that God might be telling me that I have to let go of a marriage. It's not that he is such a horrible person, he's just a very sarcastic, spoiled brat that wants things his way, contradicting everything that is said just so he has something to say that he thinks makes him sound intelligent. (& he does have a very high IQ that he always bragged about). He does nice things for people even goes out of his way at times if he feels it's the right thing to do but only if he notices the situation. He wanted to be married, but thought it just happens. He wanted to marry an intelligent woman but wanted her to have the career & take care of him like his mother took care of his father. He wanted the money so he could buy the things he wanted & have everything he wanted & when he couldn't afford that, it would go on credit....so when I lost my career, he couldn't handle not having money so kept spending. When he lost his career, he lost everything because he no longer had the money that was the only thing that made him happy.

If he would work on his values & his personality issues & figure out what kind of person he wants to be & who he really is, he could be a very wonderful person....if he would only grow up like I pointed out when we first got married 32 years ago. I know I have to just give up & put it is God's hands like with my flute & other things.....it's just hard to realize that I have to give up on a marriage & realize that is what God really wants to have happen. I know that I have to just accept that he may not change & that I can no longer tolerate what I have for so many years.....& that it has to end for my own peace.

I am praying for God to give me the strength & wisdom I need to take over & finish off everything in California & Kentucky so I can be completely free from this relationship. Without help it's going to be difficult & take longer which creates the financial situation he keeps trying to point out that I need his disability income (which he just got) so I can make it better off than without his money.

It's hard to prioritize when everything is top priority. I am struggling to get the Dr situation settled so I can get back to KY. The stupid group I first talked to won't get me in until Jan 7 & even that isn't to see a Dr.....long after I need to fill my next prescription Jan 2. Talked to the pharmacy about filling another California prescription & that's up in the air.....so now I'm trying to find another DR & get my Dr office here to cooperate immediately rather than sitting on everything like they do.

My prayers for strength are at the top of my list, but added to that are my prayers to get others to take the actions they need to so that I am just able to live my life like a normal person.

These prayers will be answered sometime, somehow.....& part of me just needs some sleep to calm down......& my needed strength which only comes when I am rested & have energy enough to function so that I can follow God's guiding path.....sometimes that path comes to me while I am sleeping also....which is why sleep is so important....my quiet time so I can listen to what God has to say.

May God bless you all & know that his words through you have helped me gain a level of peace that is so needed,
Debbie