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Old Jun 17, 2017, 03:25 PM
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BlueInanna BlueInanna is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 4,624
I know this about myself. But I'm old enough to know better. I should take care of my own health so I can help others.
I have a heap of personal and family crisis going on and I don't talk to anyone much about it. I'm relatively stable despite things going on. I cry by myself, I say I'm ok. I have to believe I'm ok, going to be ok.
But I feel like I could be easily triggered into an episode at any time. And who knows which way I would fall off the cliff, mania or depression. I can't let that happen.

The most triggering thing that just happened was my ex / father of my youngest son, calling me drunk at noon. I could hear he was driving. I'm terrified for him to be doing this, and other people on the road. It's not ok! He's a childhood friend and I loved him so much. He cannot seem to kick the alcohol and it was a nightmare what we all went through. I thought we would just be talking about our son and if he could make it to a sports game.
He started spewing drunk talk about how this is not even his son, does not look like him, etc. My son is 15, why is he doing this now. I feel so insulted that he said that.

He wants to call me back because he needs someone to talk to. He said he needs someone to help him not grab that bottle of vodka. He is killing himself.
I agreed to talk to him later.
I don't want to talk to him later. It drains the **** out of me. He has never paid child support or been there much for our son. But still it's like I want to help him. What if he died and I could've stopped it by answering the phone? I don't want my son's father to die.
Hugs from:
Icare dixit, Victoria'smom, wildflowerchild25, x_blessed