Dear Waterbear,

I wish that things could have been different for you, I really do. I don't know where I am going with this right now, and I understand if that makes it confusing for you, and I am sorry for that.

A part of me just wants to be able to take all of that away from you, all that hurt and repressed anger, but the sensible side of me knows that you need to really go through it, with a witness, in order to really heal from it and move on with your incredible life.

I want that witness to be me, because of the work that we have both done in building this secure relationship, and I hope that you can continue to trust me in order to do this.

I don't want to jeopardise this either, I really don't, but I am having to work on not getting enmeshed with you. I am fond of you, and I have to remain aware that your interests are what matter here, not mine.

Because of that, this can never be a 'mutual' relationship. Not so long as you want me as your T, anyway, and I think that I can help you, so I do want to be this for you.

It is difficult, isn't it. Like I said a while ago, I think the yearning and wanting is an incredibly hard part of therapy, especially when it is reciprocated.

But I believe that we can do this, together, the right way, to help you. We just need to figure out together what that is.

I think I am starting to love you too, you know. Emotions aren't always clear cut, and sometimes they take a while to figure out, to navigate.