I wish I could be normal. I wish I could get you and your family out of my head. I keep wondering about your children. I hope that you have a good relationship with all of them. All of them. You have a lot of children, you know. Well, you raised them, so I presume that you do know!! Lol. Yeah, I still wish I had been a part of all of that, but I know that dwelling on that won't change the fact that I didn't. It might help me realise that what I had wasn't good enough, though, and that is important, right?

Yes, the yearning is hard to bear. Very hard to bear.

Saw one of my old teachers out tonight. Seen him a few times in the pub and around the village. All we both do is look at each other. No acknowledgement from either side, just am awkward staring. I don't know what this brings up for me, but it is distracting and fairly unpleasant. Maybe we could talk about this one day.

I definitely want to do that jigsaw with you on Tuesday. Did you have it on the desk for me? You said that you thought that I would like it. I hope that you did have it there for me. Thank you. Love you.