thats why i like to smoke

turn this bloody thing off

but i been smoking for ever, so when im not smoking everything feels weird

when i am smoking everything feels normal

smoking helps me not get angry at stupid bull**%#



it makes me stop giving so much a flying ****

where as sober i have too many things going through my head

too many different thoughts, commands, ideas, desires

smoking slows it all down and i can just try to control it a little better

does that make any sense?

its been my medication of choice since i discovered it...

its just expensive... hard to come by... illegal... people think you are a drug addict for using it... people think you are stupid for using it... or that it makes you retarded... all kinds of negative connotations...

gotta love stigma...

alcohol on the other hand i started drinking at the same time, but it has a numbing effect... but a stupefying effect as well, which its not really a good medication that why im trying to get away from it