Again while married to first husband I had another experience. I do believe I was watched over a lot during those years, as they were very trying times.
Anyways we had gone to country with our dogs, and some friends. My husband was running down through the fields in the jeep, and the dogs were running behind the jeep trying to jump in it. His dog made it into the jeep, but my dog missed the step and the back tire of the jeep ran over him. I was not in the jeep at that time. My husband and friends tried to revive my dog but he was gone. After a time with a heavy heart my husband drove to where I was and handed me my dog. He was a shepard/collie mix about 6 months old, and he was my best friend. I sat in the jeep and held him in my arms and cried out to God, to please give me back my puppy. I was overcome with grief and sadness as he was the one thing that helped me hang on in a world of contant insanity. After a while my puppy suddenly began to move and and lifted his head. It was a miracle. He had been dead for over a hour. He lived a full happy life until many many years later when separated from me and in the temperary care of my ex-husband, my dog was hit a car along a roadside and passed on to heaven. My ex-husband, buried him in a little clearing near a patch of woods and lake, one of my favorite places to go to when we were together.
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All my life I have know that I am different. I have trouble with my thinking and processing information. I have trouble in keeping close friends. I am afraid of living, and I don't really know why. I am good at pretending everything is all right, by just gritting my teeth and just charging ahead and getting through the rough spots, but inside I am afraid of failure and getting critized for things I do. I am hoping someone can help me, or at least understand me.
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