T, I really, really, really need to connect with you right now! Please respond to my email. And please respond with more than three sentences. I don't want to send another one - that would be the third this week, though the first two were short - but I've been feeling like this for hours now and it's getting worse. I think you might understand since you know I'm upset (grieving) after losing my amazing psychiatrist this week, but what would I even say in the email?
"Oh hi, so I'm almost near tears and really need to talk to you." ??? That's way too needy of me. And what if he doesn't respond for 12 hours and by then the feelings have passed and so then I should have just not emailed?
I can't stop thinking about losing my psychiatrist and trying to hold onto my therapist. I feel like I just want to cling to you, for safety, for comfort, for knowing that I'm not alone in fighting all of this, for hearing your voice and feeling the automatic relieved response inside me built up from so many sessions.
I wish I were in session right now.