Sigh...here's the update.
I spent a lot of Memorial Day Weekend looking at apartments and neighborhoods. I guess my wife realized I was serious because she spent Memorial Monday and Tuesday tearfully apologizing: "every marriage deserves a do-over". So we spent 18 days trying to do things differently. It started off well enough. She even--at last!-- agreed to see a marriage counselor. We never got the chance though. Today she started to build up a towering rage and she ended up storming out of her neice's graduation party and stranding us in a parking lot far away from home while she drove off. I feel a little bad because for my part I said 18 days ago I would try to be better at all the things she complains about, and I have been working my butt off. But the reality is I didnt trust her, and I knew she'd go off on a rage bender soon and I kept thinking that trying to fix things was futile. Probably not the best way of going on in a relationship,eh? My bad. I feel like we might have had a chance if we'd seen a counselor a year ago. I do feel sorry for her though--so many of her friends seem to be keeping their distance from her these days but i know i can't fix her or even help her. I asked her mother and father how many times they slapped, kicked, punched, thrown things at or spat on each other. Her Mom admitted to one thrown tv remote and her dad was surprised: "why would i slap her?--she's my wife!" I dont think they believe that my wife did any of that to me. I'm so tired of trying to convince them. I'm so tired of getting the **** beaten out of me. And I hate myself for not just leaving, because it's really pretty scary. Ok, thats enough rambling for the evening. I should write more when I have positive things to say.