sometimes more than others

sometimes I find out because of the consequences of doing things I don't remember later, or people I've never met claiming they know me, or all the sudden it's a different day or week or month. posting on here seems to help with the time continuity. I seem to be able to post here no matter what. if I'm losing time I can sometimes read what I wrote here and figure out what happened.

other times I find out because I've learned through T that when I am feeling a lot of physical pain, I'm usually dissociating or in a certain alter. so if I am having a lot of unexplained pain, I can figure out what's up and then I don't "lose the time" per se.

still other times I'm losing time but still co-conscious. this is a weird one. I can feel myself stuck and frozen, and I know I will forget later, and I keep telling myself not to forget, to remember this feeling and this frozenness... and later on I remember not really what happened, but I do remember being frozen in time for hours and hours.

before the diagnosis I just thought I was spacey and had a terrible memory.

what is your favorite thing to think about? like if you had a moment right now to let your mind wander to something nice, what is the thing that comes up?