i cant say that i understand how you feel because im kind of scared of hard liqour. but i have grown up with an alcoholic who also smoked cigaretts, pot and did cocaine. I myself used to be a smoker. Its your mind playing tricks on you.

When you start to think about how much your life sucks and how much better it is when youre drunk you should create a list of all the bad things that happen when youre drunk. doesnt matter how little it is. it could be the fact that you pee every 5 minutes.

maybe put things into perspective. in the end it depends on would you rather learn to be happy sober or deal with all the health problems that come with being drunk all the time?

alcohol and cigarettes are smart drugs too. they have a way of making everything else seem 10 times worse because youre not drunk. its all a mindset and its easier to change than you think. i feel like whenever i feel like my depression is setting in again i have to literally force myself to be happy. i have to force myself to find good things and force myself to smile. but after that initial push, it puts other things into place. its kind of a domino effect.

the hardest part is staying off alcohol long enough to feel those effects. i noticed that once i quit smoking, my stress level went down, i was happier, more optimistic and the total opposite of how i felt before when i would go an hour without a cigarette. i think if you can not have a drink for a while and maybe even keep a diary of all the tiny good things that pop up it will send the rest of the domino effect into action. your brain wants you to think that life sucks so that youll want alcohol again.