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It's like a bursting dam. You dissociate yourself from your feelings until you can no longer do so. Being open about how you feel in a constructive way is key. It's a typical BPD problem. In a way, the essence and only problem. Or one of three main problems, the others being insecurity and a desire for clarity and a pain/punishment addiction/dependence which makes one hurt and sabotage oneself (and in the process hurt or alienate others).
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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