T says harmless thing, a true thing and i fall apart.

my heart feels heavy... so very heavy.

i want to cry.. but i dont.

not in crisis but very sad

he doesn't want to hurt me.. i know that. He was so perfect otherwise today.. very gentle, soft spoken... if he does that then i respond, otherwise i lock myself up and i get very resistent. But he was exactly as i have asked. He can't help me... i am seeing that. He is doing exactly what i asked for and i still feel such a longing for gentleness... even though i am getting it.

i am hopeless.