Hi Fluff - I know it is OK to fall apart - especially in the precense of your T. I know therapy is a real battle for me. My sessions used to be on a Friday, and then I would spend all weekend with a "therapy hangover" picking me apart. I think there is nothing wrong with your longing for gentleness - a sign that you want to take care of you in a kind and loving way - nothing wrong with that at all. Maybe you can talk with T and tell him what happened with you after your session - and then maybe he can better help you. You aren't hopeless - nobody is. We are all here for a reason - and I am glad you are here. Hang in there - you aren't alone.