Dear T,

I really feel the drive inside me to talk to someone about this yearning that I have for you, and about the relationship that we do have, and about the one that I want in the future.

In my heart I know that the person I need to talk to is you, but my head is telling me to talk to someone else, even though there isn't anyone else that I feel that I can talk about it with.

This sucks.

I am scared to talk to you about it, because I am scared of losing what we have. I am (still) scared of saying or doing something 'wrong' and it having a result that I don't like.

I guess I am also scared that what I want won't be possible. I don't like not knowing, but then I don't want to know if the answer will hurt me!

Oh, and please don't ask me how I know that it is my head or my heart, because I don't know, and I am not caring enough to try and listen, to try and figure it out. There is enough going on up there and in there already.