I would be concerned about her not sleeping and sending a mixed up email, and not remembering it. I think therapy can have very powerful effects on some clients (I think that you and I are both in that category?) and that a T needs to be really together to make the therapy relationship a good one that is helpful. I suspect that my first and second T's weren't together enough, and I think that meant that their stuff affected my therapy, I think it meant that when there were difficulties they got defensive and had their emotions and so couldn't stay steady for me. I think you have quite a lot of doubts about this T. Which is a terrible shame, as I know you found it hard to find a new T. Your gut feeling about her may be right.