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I'm here this morning because I've woken up, and realized how much life sucks again. The only good thing right now is that I talked ot those friends this morning and we laughed about how awesome last night was.

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this is the illusion of alchohol and drugs. when we are drunk or high, things seem truly wonderful - but this is because we are drunk or high. in reality, the same things that bothered you before hand are still there and still will come back to bite you as soon as it wears off. Im glad that you can see this for yourself.

The thing that is not good about this though is that it is escapist in nature - which never lasts forever. Sure, it lasts while you are up, but no matter what, at some point, whether you drink yourself sober or smoke yourself to sleep or what have you, eventually you will come down, and i find usually when coming down you feel even poopier about the things that bothered you in the first place.

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What I don't understand is how to make my day right, my life right, everything right for real. Right now the times of life that I like are the times where I'm not really thinking about my actual life, I'm in a different dimension.

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First, good for you for recognizing that feeling up while under the influence is not really real. Thats very important and is a great first step.

Do you have a therapist/are you in a recovery program/do you have any IRL supports? Coming here was a great way to get some information and advice. I reccomend therapy to everyone, because i think just having that solid other person to bounce thoughts off of is absolutely wonderful.

What if you made a list of things you enjoy, that don't include alchohol and drugs? for example, I enjoy escaping into books. some people like movies, walking, running, going to the gym, learning, teaching, helping others... i mean, it can be anything at all. Put it on the list no matter how simple or silly it seems. Sometimes I am happy just that I am breathing and remind myself that breathing and living is a heck of a lot better than the come downs I used to experience or the overdoses I have experienced.

you might want to try dropping by the gratitude list thread we started! post anything you are greatful for, no matter how simple or silly it seems.

Good luck my friend and one day at a time.