Forgive me if this is long I'll keep it short as possible and thanks for reading my mess also I'm new here hi everyone.....

I've had Depersonlization and Derelization since about maybe 4 years old. That's a far back as I can remember having it.

I've also had this other voice with me since I was very little, she's like me sounds like me but she isn't. I've told my previous therapist about it but she didn't take me seriously nor did she really understand what I felt she never even heard of dp and dr before.

I told her about the voice that sounds like me but isn't but she kept trying to put me into this box saying "voices" when I told her it was only one. I guess two if you count me. We talk 24/7, about movies, and music, about what to say what to type what to eat for dinner. She even wakes me up sometimes when I'm sleeping.

I've told my mom before but she rolls her eyes at me, telling me "it's all in your head." or tells me to "stop it, there's nothing wrong with you."

I noticed that when I have my phone near me at night when I'm asleep. When I wake up I check the search history and a bunch of things that I never looked up appears.

This is why I don't keep computers or phones near me. Because I think she does things while I'm asleep. I've had people ask me why I said this, that and the other and I have no idea what they're talking about.

I noticed that lately it's been happening during the day, I can go out to the store or just be driving, come home and completely forget that I left the house. It's like a dream a very vague dream it 's foggy, I forget I've even been out anywhere. I feel like I should be scared but I just feel numb and distant from everything and everyone.

(I have Aspergers I am on the autism spetcrum, just thought I mention that.)

My eyes roll back sometimes too (I know this sound insane but it happen I'm not sure what it is.) I've read that people with DID sometimes have their eyes roll back or may feel like they're falling.

I don't know what to do when I've been to a therapist two of them actually, I've been going to that therapist for a year in a half now, and she never believed me so I cut her off recently. She didn't even ask why.

I'm done with therapist all they ever ask is for my money and when I'm going to pay completely ignoring my concerns.

If this is DID I have no idea how it happened, I only ever lived my mom and she was fine, she never hurt me and never had any strangers around me.

Maybe it's not DID and more like a spirit, maybe I had a twin and she died in the womb and our souls like merged together and we share the same body now.(I've been speculating)

Depersonlization, feels like my hands and legs don't belong to me, I look at myself in the mirror and feel like I'm seeing someone else. Derelization having it right now as I type this, my eyes feel so strange and everything is like I turned the contrast up on my t.v. I've had that since 4, I remember coming home from Kindergarten in tears because "I don't feel real." I told my mom.

She didn't understand what I meant, they took me to doctors they didn't understand I was healthy. And what do you mean "You don't feel real, you're right here you're real."

I just want to know why why this is happening to me and why at such a young age, why am I doing things and not remembering why do I have dp and dr.

Thanks if you read this, I know it's long I just hope someone can reply or relate to me.