Sorry, it has taking me so long to reply, but it's better now with a bit of distance.

You said "She almost worships me to the point of annoyance". Well, this is what I did with my 4 years older brother. He was the only halfway sane person in this family. In particular he was the only one in this house who was somehow predictable and "logical" in his behavior. So, I think I quite clutched to him as a mother/father surrogate and today I believe this applied extra pressure to him that he couldn't handle. He was older than me, but still a kid and then a teenager. He would have needed an older person himself to take care of him and to lean on. Instead he even had a younger brother to take care of.

In my early 20s I had a girlfriend who was an adult child of alcoholics. This relationship was a huge love/hate thing full of emotions and it didn't last very long. Only today I see the connection. She grew up in a house where her father was almost always away for work and her mother was already passed out on the sofa when she came home from school. Empty bottles and full ashtrays on the tables. She went through teenage age without a mother to support her about the girly stuff going on. But on top on that she had a younger sister clutching on the tip of her skirt as we say over here.

Well, I guess we both were looking for a parent surrogate in each other and were both disappointed about not getting it AND being annoyed about being supposed to BE a parent surrogate for the other.

As for today, my brother has started his own family and has completely removed me from his life. He has been living in his house for a good 10 years now and has never invited me to come over. He never tells me anything important on the rare occasions we talk and he doesn't want to know anything what's going on in my life. I'm late 40s now and I am really not aware that I did anything wrong to him in the past 20 years or so. So, I have to assume that it has to do with our common childhood that he doesn't want to have me anywhere around.

However, he is in complete denial about it and acts totally surprised and annoyed that I also don't call him anymore. He was thoroughly p***ed that I didn't show up for his 50th birthday party. But I thought yeah right, I'm going to drive 600 miles for a party where I hardly know anybody and he wouldn't have hardly 2 minutes for me. What's the point? But maybe there were some annoying questions from others where his brother was, who knows. But I will leave it there, probably better this way. I'm not mad at him or anything, but I'm not willing any longer to talk to a wall of silence and denial. This was almost the worst about this family, that on top of all that I permanently got invalidated about my feelings by pretending that nothing had happened. I will never again let anybody to this to me. I'm always willing to talk, but not on a fundament of lies and denial.

Well, this is my story. About yours, I don't know what I could suggest you to do. It's only maybe that if you are available for her now and just talk to her on a regular basis this could be helpful and then see what happens.

All the best luck!