Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Mama
Are you by any chance a survivor of sexual abuse, especially child sexual abuse. That is what it sounds like to me. I don;t want to get into that with out first knowing if that is correct or not.
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No.. But i fell in love with a girl who so happened to be a slut, very displeased with that.
At the time I was a Christian, God gave unto me a person who just so happened to be ugly (not that I care), and a slut. As my love grew bigger, my grief over her past history got more intense.
I decided to rebel against God, quench the love within me only to end up as an emotionless, paranoid person with litteraly no consience not even a voice letting me know if am wrong or right.
I realized things had gone too far as I was now feeling peace and calma after hurting people, so as I'm repenting I was getting tormented in my sleep for 2 days.
I'm fine and atleast feel sane now :P, weak conscience, and the love within me was rekindled, my perspective has gone back to normal ( used to view people as objects) and all my emotions are back..
I dont know if that has to do with anything, but most likely..