Dear T,
I'm sure you noticed that after you encouraged me to continue writing in your last email I have done the opposite,as usual.It makes me wonder if you purposely did that,knowing me well enough to know that I would do the opposite.

But maybe my thinking is wrong and I still need help with that,and need to work on why I feel compelled to not do things I'm asked and encouraged,it feels like an automatic reflex to do the opposite.

Sorry.