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Old Jun 20, 2017, 12:30 PM
mogwaifn mogwaifn is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2017
Location: London
Posts: 12
I think a bad sign in a T is if they routinely make insights right at the end of the session and do nothing else.

A friend pointed it out once - in college he had a lot of psych students in his circle. With very few exceptions they seemed to have that creepy judging stare inexperienced Ts get and every conversation he ever had they would let him speak, giving that stupid stare saying nothing meaningful and ...right... ...at... ...the... ...end... make some clever sounding observation. It's a cheap amateur therapist trick to keep you going to therapy - say nothing much throughout the session then right at the end say something for you to stew on for the week. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Any time I've seen this the T has turned out to be a jerk and/or tried to make themselves sound more perceptive than they are making observations a 3 year old could make (and usually stuff you already know).

Good therapy is vastly different. One T I had knew anxiety inside out. Any observations were when needed and she didn't act like some higher form of being. There's a lot of aspects and angles to this - with her in one session I had screwed up badly. It wasn't just that she acknowledged that I regretted it (my previous T would have said something like 'you don't realise you regret it' or some similar BS) but over time I made certain moves to build bridges with people. It's hard to explain but it all came from the therapeutic relationship and it all started with her making good observation without trying to massage her ego.
Thanks for this!
Inner_Firefly