People do actually live off of SSDI. And people do actually live off of SSI. The percentage of the population doing that is a lot bigger than you imagine. Lots of them don't work. Most of them are disabled to some extent, so that their ability to work is very limited. What the guy told you was wrong. That came out of his own head, not from any national policy. (Food stamps were meant to be only supplemental for most people who get them. Though they are meant to totally feed the extremely poor.)

SSDI and/or SSI, combined with housing subsidy, combined with food stamps, combined with other subsidies we've talked about above are carefully calculated by policy makers to be enough to live off of. Lots of people do it. And it isn't a totally bare bones subsistance existance. People getting that package often have basic cable TV, Internet access, and go out to eat once in a while. It requires being thrifty and careful, but people do it. I do it. Where you live can affect things. I live in a part of the country where cost of living is lower than many places. My apartment is nice and I like my neighbors. Some friends of mine live in a HUD subsidized senior complex that is very nice and one of the safest places in town.

You could apply for subsidized housing and just refuse the subsidy when you get it. You got nothing to lose. No law says you have to accept it. As a child I lived in a public housing project that was all the awful things you described. So I know what you are afraid of. But that's not the whole picture.

Still, you may be more comfortable staying with your parents. Only you can decide. If you live in a major urban center like NYC or LA, then where you might have to live could be scary. In other places, what's available coukd be nicer than you're expecting. It's best not to assume things when you really haven't done the footwork. What we conjecture can mislead us.