Thank you all for your responses. I thought I was being crazy, but I guess my reaction to the situation seems pretty normal after hearing all of your feedback.
It looks like a resounding "Yes" to Question #1. It makes sense that people enjoy being in the presence of others to share a moment of connection and celebration. But sometimes like healingme4me pointed out, logistics get in the way :/ Next time I will make more of an effort to work out the logistics better so that the exchange doesn't end up dissatisfying. I will also focus more on experiences rather than material items.
Just so there is no confusion, my SO did acknowledge my efforts and said he was blown away and speechless when he saw the surprise. I also think him opening gifts without me was unintentional (as a couple of you have mentioned). I slightly blame myself for not having moved out of my parents' earlier, which is what caused this whole issue in the first place. If I was already living with him, this would not have been a problem.
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Originally Posted by Bill3
Question 5: If the only reason people give big gifts is so that they can feel a little bit better about themselves, then would that make gifting a large/meaningful present a selfish act?
The only reason? Are you saying that the giver literally does not care whether or not the receiver liked the gift? They are not trying to find something suitable for the person? If the answer to my questions is yes, then the gift would be largely a self-centered act, as it would be aimed at the self and not at the other person.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
#5 the word meaningful stands out in the question. A gift no matter how big or small isn't necessarily with selfish motives? Nor necessarily to boost self esteem. I gave my oldest son a rather pricey gift for his birthday. Had a warm heart to heart before I did. It was pricey but also a longer term investment, yet, in a style that appeals to a certain side of himself. I wouldn't give that to someone I didn't love and care for though. His reaction was memorable. I had a selfish motive in giving it a couple of days early and I told him that I didn't want to lend to any thoughts that it was a replacement of what just broke.
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Thanks Bill and healingme4me for the insight to Question #5. You are both correct that if someone took the time to choose a meaningful gift, it would be with the intent to give something the receiver would really appreciate. Thus, that negates any so-called "selfish" intent.
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Originally Posted by healingme4me
I'm surprised that his reaction despite opening without you adds to your wondering all of this about yourself, your motives, self worth, etc? Is everything ok?
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Thank you for expressing your concern, I think I am doing ok. I am most likely just doubting myself too much. I have a lot of spare time on my hands to think over this kind of stuff. I need to have more faith in myself and my choices. Focus on the positives.