Quote:
Originally Posted by Inner_Firefly
Last session I told T that I don't trust therapy to fix my problems; I believe that only my own effort can save me.
Why would I waste time explaining my problems to T, when I could be taking concrete action towards my goals?
She said she doesn't quite agree, she can see things that I wasn't seeing. So I asked what she saw, but she said it didn't matter, that I should do what I feel is right for me.
I'm afraid T is frustrated that she can't help me unless I attend sessions.
I'm so attached because she's been my T for 9 years, but I hardly ever see her anymore because I'm too busy fixing my own problems.
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Therapy shouldn't be about doing things fast but 9 years is way too long to still be in therapy.
I suspect the subconscious attracts bad Ts when we're not ready for therapy (or in your case possibly a bad fit) and when we take a break and when we're ready and go back all of that changes. That is why I don't regret not getting back into therapy earlier after seeing a terrible T as the next one was amazing.
In terms of self awareness,
don't confuse being very introspective with being self aware. In work and with friends or family the only way to truly be self aware is to look for feedback and be around people that are as honest as the day is long. Reading people's emotions is unreliable and subject to cognitive biases and so is introspection, so having a T make observations is important. I think this is a common misconception - people often forget the phrase 'observant' means 'consistently makes observations' not 'makes an observation or 2'. Plus introspection often involves self processing or intellectualisation - very poor ways of processing feelings and there are better ways that take you out of your head and where real self awareness comes easier.
As I've said in other posts, Ts sometimes fancy themselves too much and make crappy observations,
but not all do, so the first question is do the T's observations check out under close scrutiny and the second question is are you ready. Yeah, sometimes what a T says is hard to check but when a T isn't as observant as they think they are they will eventually make an observation that is verifiably BS.