Hi PressedPoppy: I'm sorry I can't really speak to this directly. But I noticed no one has yet replied to your post. So I thought I would. (Sometimes it can take a few posts here before you begin to get noticed.)

There was a time when, I believe, I could have been diagnosed as having BPD. But I was never actually diagnosed with it. And I doubt I could be diagnosed as having it now. (I've been told that BPD tends to burn itself out as one ages. And I've certainly done that.) Under any circumstances, I've now been married for about 38 years, if that's of any help.

Anyway... I'll just let my reply go at that without going into further details. You wrote that you have a feeling you may be suffering from BPD. The best thing to do is get with a mental health professional (assuming you are not already doing so) & figure out what is going on with you. One thing I will say is that I armored myself in thick layer of denial for many years... decades really. And, in the process, I did more damage than I care to recollect. Perhaps having received some mental health treatment would have prevented all of the destruction... perhaps not. Unfortunately, when I was young, it simply wasn't available the way it is today. So I'll never know. But please don't follow in my footsteps. They don't lead anywhere you want to go. ...