OMG, YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS

Just interaction with you in cyberspace has proven that you have great valuable to me. I think if you reflect on different parts of your life you will find you are valuable to others as well.

This month I seem to be into reading self help books--thanks to Sunrise. The one I am reading now is called You Don't Have to Take It Anymore by Steven Stosny. This book is about dealing with verbal abuse. I don't recall you specifically saying you're dealing with VB but if you are feeling worthless you likely have suffered from it at some point. ...

Anyway.. Chapter 5 of this book is on Recovering Your Core Value. It is an excellent chapter that talks about rediscovering that you have value as a person and how to build it back up. I'm not the type of person who get into completing stupid activities in book, but I actually answered the questions embedded in this chapter. I hadn't realize how beat down I was and how low I was feeling internally. This chapter really helped me. If you want the activities I'm send them to you--I can't remember if there is an attachment option for the PM application.

As for letting one person know everything about you. I'm not convinced that is the only way we can get the support we need. If you have friends who know different parts of your personality use them independently to help you regain your overall sense of self.

My close friend that I wrote about before knows nothing of past. All she knows about is who I am when I am around her. But if I ask her for her perspective about something I am doing or about a concern I have she can, based on what she know about me..tell me what she thinks. Also, because she feels compassion for me she can help me in the ways she knows how to feel better. As for my T, she is the only one at the moment who I've permitted to see a little bit of my past and give me insight on how some things are affecting me now. However she knows nothing about who I really am in public or how I interact with my children..etc.

I COMPLETELY understand your reservations regarding letting one person know everything. This is an appealing concept and probably something I would really like to have with someone deep down inside. But at this point I am not likely to allow that. I really wanted something like that with my husband, but frankly what he does know he uses against me when he needs a scapegoat for his own guilt. I've learned my lesson-so to speak.

Let me know if you are interested in the chapter I mentioned. I'll figure out a way to send it to you. Or even snail mail the whole book. I'm almost done with it.