Me too.

I've been on psych meds long enough (~20 years) that I can no longer tease apart
the effects of the meds,
side effects of the meds, and
the effects of the conditions for which the meds are prescribed.

For me, meds possibly provide minor relief from depression (the antidepressants) and moderate-to-substantive relief from anxiety (the mood stabilizers). They have always been palliative and never curative.

I cannot tell if my conditions destroyed my career, the meds, the combination of conditions and meds, my personality, or the confluence of everything.

I am left wondering how my life would have been had I never sought help.