Well, it's another day of crying. I want to give up so bad, but I don't even know how to give up, other than just laying down.

I realize how bad things have been for me for so long. I have been exhausted forever. I just have that low depressed feeling.

I have been invited away for a couple of separate weeks this summer to a nice cabin and a nice house. But I am terrified to ride there. We'd have to pass big trucks on the freeway.

You all mean well, but I know what you will say.
1) Go see your pdoc. (I just saw her last week. She raised my Rexulti and Wellbutrin. Nothing has happened yet. I see her again tomorrow.)
2) Get a therapist for your anxiety. (I am working with two different ones. Things have gotten gradually worse.)

I'm not scared to leave the house but I don't want to. I just don't care enough about anything to get dressed and go. I don't even care about my friends anymore.

I AM proud of myself that I got to my support group last week. They helped a lot just by listening.

I just don't know what to say. This is just a vent, I don't expect too much help. But I know many of you have been where I am. Maybe some of you are still there.

I am taking more Klonopin than I should so I can cope. I am desperately afraid my pdoc will cut me off.