Well, I have worked at my job for almost four years. I have always felt happy at my job. Loved the kids I work with. Got along with everyone. We are going to be a school soon instead of an after school program. Now we are required to turn in a background check. I was truthful on my application that I have a felony and that was alright. But I am very doubtful for a school it will be acceptable. I do not have any crimes involving children. NEVER. but it is a very serious drug charge. I was told by the judge that dismissed my probation that after 3 years he would dismiss the charge as it was to serious to reduce. I wrote him a letter over a month ago pleading for his help after speaking to probation. Probation told me tuff, they would not honor what the judge said, or the probation officer that was in the judges court that day. After writing a heart felt and desperate letter, after calling and calling his office I finally got a call from the judge. He is now the mayor of the city now. He told me I would have to contact the judge that took over for him. It would not be a quick process if it could be done at all. So all the time I spent being good and finding a great job that I love is going to go down the tubes. Now I dont have to feel bad about my habits. Being clean for almost 3 years years got me from going to jail and got me off probation. I suppose I am grateful for that. So at least I dont have to feel bad about my habits now! I feel it is pointless. The times when things are going smooth and good are very short lived for me. What is the point of trying! I really try every day to get up and smile and be happy on the outside cause I know eventually it will seep inside. I know that if I try to be happy it is better then crying and being so sad. But again I feel why? It will not work for very long anyway!