I never feel guilty or ashamed about the episodes themselves. Occasionally they lead me to do some things that aren't great but somehow those are separate in my mind.
I'm most guilty about checking completely out on a family member who didn't have hardly anybody else during my last four year low. But I'm moving forward. And I'm embarrassed about a few things I've done during hypomanic Peak Experiences, but it is what it is - and the people who matter took it in stride and didn't run away from me, whereas the people who don't matter did run away.
I am however temperamentally resistant to guilt and shame unless I know I did something against my own moral code, so that really helps. I'm actually trying to get better at talking about guilt/shame issues because I don't understand them at a gut level but so many of my friends and loved ones with depression and bipolar struggle with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedHaldol
When I met my wife, I was in denial of my illness. As such, I didn't tell her about the extent of it.
Later on it all came to light and I felt horrible. The illness of course, but I felt like I had "trapped" my wife into loving me and then dropping the bomb on her.
She loved me and we just figured out a plan to get me healthy and stay on the path of recovery and eventually wellness.
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I made a really cool new friend who is absolutely racked with guilt over pretty much this exact situation. I mentioned that it was their partner's free choice, every day, to stand beside them and ride out the storms with them. Obviously those aren't magic words that will fix things, but the friend said they really felt better to hear that.
