Hi Aar1975, I am going through a similar situation with my husband of 30 years who also had an emotional affair with a married woman which began about 6 months ago from what I can tell. I could see the signs since the woman was bold enough to randomly post enough signs on social media that over time I knew something was not right but he was not man enough to admit it when I questioned him the first time; I knew he was lying by the way he responded. I asked him again a week later, then he was man finally man enough to admit that yes, they had been seeing each other and it got to the point that they considered leaving their spouses to be with each other but they decided it wouldn't be right because they are both Catholic. (Um, I am not buying that but I am not going into religion here). He wants to work things out with me.

Anyway, I commend you for being honest with your partner about what happened...that took a lot of courage and I know it was not easy for either of you. I am not sure that I can trust my husband again because he was not honest with me when I questioned him about it, and I gave him a week to come forward to admit he had lied but he didn't. I think this is almost worse than the emotional affair and the fact that he still thinks he can be friends with her, I think we can work through that part...maybe. It's complicated as most relationships are.

Now, here is something to ask yourself. Every long term relationship has it's ups and downs and when we are with the same person 24/7, we see the good, bad and the ugly. When you meet someone new, you are seeing only the very best side of what they have to offer so it seems very appealing at first but do you think if you were with this person 24/7 for a year or more, would you feel the same about her? How about 5 years from now? Maybe it doesn't matter, maybe your current relationship is so bad that you need to end it anyway for the sake of you and your partner, so both of you can be happier. I don't know the answer and neither do the other people in your lives so they have no right to judge. Change is never easy. They say we will get through this pain somehow, I try to believe that is true.