Am I supposed to ... violate the parts that hold the pain just like the abusers did? - No dearest one.

Am I supposed to lie and say everything is fine. Be as real as you can when it is safe to do so.

Am I supposed to subject myself to further abuse in the guise of "help" from the MH "services" Abuse from those services is cruel. See if there is some way that you can ask for help. Become that squeaky wheel that gets the attention.

Am I supposed to pretend that there is help here in the uk . No pretense dear one. You are allowed tears. You are allowed to be real.

How to heal or "move on" with no help.

I do not have a ****ing magic wand. Magic wands are an illusion sweet fuzzy one. Healing tears are not.

I'm supposed to keep Fuzzybear alive. Hang in there you are the only one that is youer that you.

Day by day even hour by hour.