I finally just took Ativan last night and slept. I feel a lot calmer now. I feel like I will almost just be relieved if I don't even get the job even though I do want it.

I'm pretty attached to my therapist and sad I'm losing her. She knows. It's required I see a t if I want to see my pdoc so I will have to see a new t. Unfortunately-since I have Medicare there is only one other t I can see. :/ hopefully I like her, huh?

Hopefully today will go better.