How do we do this, t? I want an instruction manual!!

I wanted to call you soooooo badly today!! But I would not let myself. We sorta talked about that attitude last night - I forgot in what context - but about how I often say "but I couldn't let myself". And I think perhaps that was part of the problem last night is that I couldn't let myself FEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLL what I was feeling. I would not let myself call you today because I need to get used to being out here in the world without you as my safety net. Gotta be my own safety net. And that was all going very well until I came there yesterday, for pete's sake. No wonder people just cut and run and skip this whole "termination" thing. It sucks right now. I know I told you I wouldn't cut and run, and I won't, because even though it sucks right now, I still believe in honoring the work that we have done together by talking through our feelings about separating. You said it yourself last night - we've known each other for a long time, going on 6 years.

Why did you ask me if yesterday was my last session?! Did you really think I would do that?!