I don't know how to pick a good title.
I read various articles about how successful people have similar habits, such as exercising, contributing to society, mediate and work on compassion.
Habits of highly successful people - Business Insider

I've been discouraged success because of a discouraging father, which I feel has negatively affected my ability to bond with peers and be successfully productive in my life.
My family has an attitude of "just because he seems to be doing great doesn't mean it's truly so", or "just because he seems nice doesn't mean he's really so".
Another confession, I can't see successful people as good people, and I see the practice of meditation and compassion as conflicting with their successful position, which of course means more money.
All those readings I do over the net seem to show successful people are also better people in the "human being" sense.

This idealization of successful people makes me feel pity. Because if they have bad sides, at least I'd feel more comfortable knowing "I'm not like that".

But I always remember how successful I've always wanted to be, but my father's abusive attitude has left me in fearful scars which I started to strongly and deeply feel after I wrote this thread. Even my mother doesn't encourage success, but to just go through the "requirements of life" (school, university, job, family) with the rest not being important.

I don't know what is the topic. On one hand it would be my skeptical feelings about successful people being very good people as portrayed in article. On the other hand, the scars I just started to feel much strongly regarding my father.